It was an average day in March last year. Payton Rediger was in a dark and low place. The weight of his burden was excruciating. Since he was a young man in his teens, he had been medicating his grief and shame with everything wrong under the sun. The pains and hurts from his childhood were too much. He had lost his faith and hope. He wondered why God would allow this.
“I didn’t want to get out of bed,” Payton shared solemnly. “I was so ashamed of myself. So low. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t know what I was doing. It felt like a monotonous day. I didn’t care about anything, nor did I try and think about anything. I was aimless. It was extremely difficult. Now looking back, I didn’t want to do anything.”
For a while Payton didn’t believe in anything. He had lost his faith along the way. His grandparents planted Godly seeds in his heart when he was younger. He couldn’t remember any of it. He couldn’t process anything. Payton had started a new job as a software analyst. It was there he met Zak, one of his coworkers. After a work call he asked Payton what his faith was.
“I shrugged it off and told him I didn’t believe,” Payton described. “He kept poking and prodding. He would ask me what’s your walk like now? Can I share a Bible verse? He slowly chipped away at my stone heart. After work one day we got on a call and he asked me questions and this time, I opened up. Zak invited me to come to a Bible study. He said there was a registration fee but that he would pay. He said, “If you don’t like it, that’s fine.” I went and met a bunch of guys.”
Each week, through the great community those men offered, Payton’s heart was softening. He started to come out of the darkness. His appetite was hungry and hungry for joy.
“We were going through Romans,” Payton said. “Romans is a big book about community. When I came across a verse in chapter 8 talking about present sufferings and how they don’t compare to the joy coming ... I was like 'where is this joy?'. I’m still waiting. Past traumas were all still here and still waiting. After talking with the guys, I realized it’s not joy promised on this side, but also at the other side with the glory of God. I don’t have to worry! There’s nothing God hasn’t promised that won’t be done. After joining that group and hearing other people’s stories I realized God has a plan for me. I don’t know what that plan is, but I know there is one! I started to read the Bible and then got connected to a City Group.”
The first time Payton went to City Group was a little uncomfortable. Everyone was open and personal and kind. He wasn’t used to it. He kept quiet. However, the more he went, the more he felt convicted to share. And then he noticed something radical. Something powerful and indescribable. The more he began to share, at City Group and in the men’s Bible study, the more his heart opened. The shame and darkness started to turn into joy and light.
“It was at City Group we were playing a game,” Payton described. “Being with a group of people who also follow God and could enjoy life without doing all those things I used to have to have on a Saturday night was surreal. I looked around and we were all enjoying the night and one another. I felt the connection. I knew I wanted to be a part of that for the rest of my life. The following week I talked to Zak and gave my life to Jesus.”
Payton gave his life to God ... his past, his present and his future ... All of it because of what Jesus did for him on the cross. God used faithful servants and the Body of Christ to bring Payton back. The seeds planted by his grandparents, godly men and the Spirit of God were sprouting.
“I am so thankful that the guys were so open and loving,” Payton confessed. “I felt the grace of God through them. They listened and didn’t judge. It seemed like behind each of them was an angel. I used to have the victim mentality, but now I know everyone goes through things. God is with them. I realized that I could live my life with Jesus at my right side.”
A couple of months after joining his City Group a baptism class at West was announced. He talked to some of the guys at study and asked if it was for him. They told him enthusiastically 100%! After the class, Payton was convicted to his core. He knew he had to get baptized and share his testimony. A few weeks later, before dozens of people lining up to get baptized and in front of hundreds of people, he shared and confessed Jesus has the source for joy, hope, freedom, purpose and light.
“As soon as I talked and shared about my life it was the most freeing thing I felt,” Payton described with joy. “God was with me, and he wanted me to share. If you give your life he will make it better. I grew up poor and in trauma. I used substances and thought it was filling me. By the grace of God, I was able to step away from it all cold turkey. Lust, drugs, drinking, gluttony ... I used to think it was me, but it wasn’t. It was the grace of God working in and through me. Through that I publicly proclaimed His saving grace. And one of the best parts is that my family was there and heard it. They now come to church.”
Payton’s future is now about continuing to love and grow in his faith. It is full of godly relationships. God has also given him an understanding of His word and of His gifts and strengths. Payton is helping lead in his City Group’s study of Acts and feels the burden to protect and serve his neighbors. The future is bright because of the light from the Holy Spirit indwelling in him and through him. Payton now invites others to step into that light.
“If you are reading this, I want to remind you that Jesus loves you,” Payton concluded with an encouragement and plea. “I know what it feels like ... The darkness and doubt. Coming from someone who didn’t care about their life, why not give it to someone that does? That’s Jesus. If you walk into any Citylight Bible study or City Group, know that every person cares about you, loves you, and will listen to you. They were all in the same boat at some point in their life. They will treat you like they have known you forever.”
Because of someone stepping out and pursuing Payton, Payton now is an open book. He takes any opportunity with others to publicly declare the Lord. He knows that life gets a lot better for others, and for himself, when you publicly accept Him.
“You don’t have to be baptized to be saved, but being born again in Christ is the best thing! Even if you have any questions or if you are on the fence, just do it. It is the most fulfilling thing I have done in my life. I highly recommend it. Go to a baptism class and go to a City Group.”
Check online to connect with a Bible study, City Group, or baptism class.