Yes Lord | A Global Story

God saves and works in and through His Holy Spirit. For most believers in Jesus Christ, we can recall that moment where the Holy Spirit burdens us, speaks to us, and shows us another way to live. For Mary, that moment was fifteen years ago in her car on the third floor of a parking garage next to the hospital where she just had an MRI on her foot. Her grandfather passed away earlier that day. In that moment, everything in life pressed down on her chest. She was desperate and hopeless.

Mary was a freshman at college on a track scholarship recovering from a stress factor. She was living her best life, but on the inside, she had doubts that also included pressures and waves of worry and darkness that could knock her off her feet. After the call with her mom about her grandfather, the weight from grief, stress from school, in a boot for her fracture and yearning for an identity, it was too much. She wanted it to stop. As she sat in her car in the parking garage, a voice spoke in her head and asked, “do you want help with this, or do you want to do it on your own?” Mary recognized the voice and said out loud, “yes, I need help.”

“That was God and, in that moment, and on, I had a new spiritual conviction,” Mary shared. “When I got back to school and maybe after a night of partying or something like that, I would wake up and feel conviction. I didn’t know how to live with this new conviction, and I didn’t have community. I didn’t know what I had nor needed.”

A few months later, an invitation from a friend who ran track with Mary, led her on a path to find community and truth.

“One day after practice, my friend Tierney asked to grab coffee with me,” Mary described. “After sharing with her what had happened to me in that parking garage a few months prior, she said to me “Mary, I think you are a born-again believer!” I agreed and she helped get me plugged into their church. Not long after that, I sought out in my hometown a woman, Cindy, who I knew was a believer to disciple me. She taught me how to read God’s word. Another woman, Shirley, told me about the power of God’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Growing up with a Catholic background, Mary had a need to strive, repent, and over and over. Mary tried desperately to be good enough. With this new community of women and God’s Church and with God’s Word and Spirit, more and more Mary found grace and freedom in Christ over the next few years.

“I found the true essence of love,” Mary said delightedly. “God was good enough, so I was good enough. That was really humbling. The crazy thing was I didn’t deserve it, but I got it anyway because of Jesus. Because of some of my Catholic background I would beat myself up for my sins. Jesus took my sins on the cross, so I didn’t need to do that anymore.”

After college, with her teaching degree in hand, Mary accepted a teaching job in a small town in Nebraska. There she found a church community not too far away and a group of women she could study God’s word. She loved having women come over to her house to dive into the latest Bible study. One study was on 2 Samuel. There, Mary learned about David, a man after God’s heart, and who became a much-needed friend.

“David and I became best friends,” Mary said with a smile but also with a level of deep sincerity. “During my time in this small town, I was confronted with another difficult circumstance. I was embarrassed and felt ashamed. The people closest to me knew but no one else. As I was reading and studying 2 Samuel, I realized a lot of similarities with David and I and who God is. David never asked to be king, and yet he was chosen. He wandered 10 years to become the man we see in the Psalms. I was faced with temptation; I didn’t ask for it, but it had to be for my good. David sees Saul and doesn't attack him. I felt my obedience shifting that way, desiring what God wants for me. God’s sovereignty with David attacking the Amalekites but then trying to get along. God intervened and told David he can’t be a part of this. Over and over...God’s timing of that scripture was not an accident in those dark days. God was using David to give me hope because I knew David’s outcome. The power of God’s word saw me through.”

After five years in that small town, Mary knew she couldn’t stay and moved into her parent’s house. Doubt set in again with where to go and what to do but Mary knew God had not forgotten her. After accepting a teaching job in Omaha, Mary began looking for a place to stay. She had always lived on her own, but God wanted Mary to be in community and provided a roommate and a home. Instantly Mary had community with her new roommate. Her roommate invited her to Citylight and now, eight years later, Mary hasn’t considered anywhere else after that first Sunday morning gathering.

“I didn’t know this amount of people my age were Christians,” Mary exclaimed. “God used this community to edify me, to show me what servant-hearted was, what grief can look like in the church, and above all of that, what selfless love is. Through the women and a group of people at No Shame Ministry, I saw and experienced when somebody hurts. When that occurs, we are there to pick up. When someone is happy, we are there to celebrate. If we are down, we encourage one another. We don’t dismiss each other, but we validate one another in Christ.”

Last fall, after a couple of long and difficult years of teaching and loss, Mary felt she was at a crossroads. She began to question herself, her profession, and God’s plan. A friend suggested Mary go and talk to someone about her struggles.

“I didn’t think my problems were important,” Mary confessed. “God used that Christian counselor to bring healing and truth to my life. As I began to understand and therefore heal with Jesus, I knew God was calling me to quit. I kept it to myself that I had to leave my job but didn’t know what to do. I didn’t tell anyone because I wanted to hear God’s voice. I wanted to hear what God wanted me to do.”

A friend who lived in Denver invited Mary out for a baby shower. That first night in their living room, relaxing and talking, Mary’s friend and her husband asked how Mary was doing. Mary began to cry and openly shared for the first time her dilemma.

“My friend, Heather, brought up a time when she was a global worker serving kids in Southeast Asia,” Mary said with anticipation. “Immediately, that struck a chord. Hearing about global work gave me hope. I didn’t want to give up teaching but knew God was calling me to leave my current job and I couldn’t stay where I was. Plus, serving like that would have a really big purpose. Heather then asked if I would be interested and I said, “I guess so.” Her pastor had served with a different organization and on that Sunday, he was talking about global work in Europe. He showed a picture of the church where Martin Luther had nailed on the door his thesis but in ruins because of communism, bombed during WWII when the Nazis took it, and all that remained were the pillars with goats grazing around them. Another picture of the church was from the 1990s where the church was rebuilt when communism fell. Immediately I heard that familiar voice saying to me “I know this is how you feel, Mary. Broken and in shambles but I am going to redeem you.”

Mary cried in the pew. When she got back home, she got her Bible out and began to read. She knew God redeems, and that He sees her. She asked out loud “God, if that is true, would you just speak to me and confirm?” She studied Colossians and cross referenced over to Philippians. As she read chapter 1 in Philippians, she came to verse 6 and stopped. The verse stood out so brightly: "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

“God was saying I have started this, and I am going to finish it,” Mary said with conviction.

With new confidence, Mary knew what to do. She went back on her computer and started a chat with the global organization mentioned by her friend. A few minutes later, a phone call was scheduled. Mary began to see over the next few months her heart for the unreached. It was there the whole time! God awakened it. What felt like a solution to the problem of not having a job, God had now graciously showed Mary something much bigger.

“My human nature is to doubt,” Mary admitted. “My pride gets in the way. I had to go through everything leading up to this in order to be more like Jesus. Like how profitable suffering can be when embraced. Satan’s power becomes less. Embracing it when it is refining you. As I learned more about global work, God was preparing my heart for the field. If God told you he is doing something, he will do it. Despite your circumstances. When you feel like you are barely holding on, that’s ok. There is nothing wrong with that place. He loves you all the more there. If you can’t see him or feel him, just stay the course. When he revealed himself that he was in fact there the whole time, that’s something I will never forget. All those lies Satan tells you, you begin to see they are lies. You see then the victory and who holds it. The peace that I have now is amazing, I am all in going to the nations. My family and friends know I am serious when I am giving up my Nebraska season tickets!”

Since then, Mary has been on the fast track to going to the nations. In a short time, she’s been approved and assigned to a short-term position in Europe with a possibility of long-term one God willing. She leaves this Fall to be a teacher at a school and to develop relationships in her community.

“The thing I am most curious about, is how my culture has influenced my look of God,” Mary said eagerly. “How American I am and have made God. I know our fundamental truths are the same, but the expectations of the church, I know they are different. But then, what else?”

As she prepares to go and during her assignment, Mary asks her Citylight family for prayer and support.

“The city I am going to has only 30 or so Christians,” Mary described. “Please pray for the church to reach people, to put relationships in my path, and opportunities to share the gospel. I have a lot to learn between language and culture. I know if I am going to reach people, I have to bring something to the their table. Not necessarily to become like them, but to come with understanding. I want to connect with them on an intimate and genuine level, to learn about the religion, and to find glaring holes to what Jesus can fill. Also, pray for cohesiveness amongst the global teams and hearts to stay as pure as they can.”

After a few minutes, Mary looked up with tears and shared her biggest burden.

“In saying “yes” to this, there is a cost. I know I have to go, and God is worth it. But it’s my family. They don’t know Jesus. I have felt the burden for them for so long so my prayer is as I leverage my life for something so worthy, that they would fall in love with God. He is worthy enough for them too. I am confident. I know I have to do this. I know Jesus knows the cost, and how much it hurts. He felt it also.”

Mary is humbled to be a part of God’s work and in another country. She knows she is right where she is supposed to be. She’s had fifteen years of life with the Holy Spirit and from the first time in the parking garage on that fateful night, God has offered her help again and again. She looks back and sees all the dots being connected, even the hard ones. God has prepared her and all she knows all there is to do is say “yes Lord.”

To sign up for updates and to support Mary going to the nations, email luke@citylightomaha.org.