Strength to Forgive | A Personal Testimony

The knock at the door surprised Dania Parker. Usually, the van driver didn’t come all the way up to the house. It was Wednesday night, which meant Citylight Student Ministry. Each week, Citylight Church picked up students from the surrounding neighborhood. Dania’s younger siblings were regular attenders.

As a junior in high school, Dania could have gone too but she didn’t want to. She wasn’t yet comfortable stepping back into a church setting after her childhood.

“I stopped going,” Dania confessed quietly. “Why would I go with so many rules? It felt like religion, not relationship. I no longer thought of God. I used to think of Him every day.”

Another knock came at the door. Her sisters answered and ran out to the van. The driver looked at Dania and invited her to join. She shrugged it off at first, but then something divine intervened.

“He came to the door and said, ‘You HAVE to come,’” Dania recalled with conviction and a smile. “I wanted to go, but I was nervous. I struggled with social anxiety and hadn’t been interacting with people much because of the epidemic. I was home a lot and alone. I remember thinking, ‘Okay, he wants me there. It’s okay. I’ll go.’ I told him I could drive myself so I could leave if I didn’t like it. But the van driver said, ‘Just ride with us. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to come back.’ I needed that push and I went. I got in that van, and I didn’t miss a Wednesday after that.”

That first night, even though Dania didn’t know anyone, she felt at home. What stood out most was everyone reading and discussing the Bible. Leaders and students opened their Bibles and notebooks and dug into the Word together.

“We actually read the Bible and learned stuff and asked questions,” Dania said. “I couldn’t wait for the next Wednesday. If I could relive that day, I would. It was so good. I didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus yet, but I knew I wanted one. I saw Jesus shining in others and their joy in the Lord. I wanted that!”

From then on, Dania climbed into that van every Wednesday with joy and expectation. Each week, she grew in her faith, in her family, and even at school. The next summer, she joined the student mission trip to New Orleans, where the team led a sports and Bible camp. One moment stood out most:

“A little girl came up to me and said, ‘I didn’t know that people of color could love God,’” Dania remembered. “I told her, ‘Wait … no. God loves everybody. He created you and me no matter our color.’ She told me she wanted to get closer to God but didn’t know how. Right then, I understood my purpose. It was to show others that everyone can love God. I related to her struggles, both physical and spiritual. It reminded me of when I needed someone to answer my questions. I was so grateful to be that person for her. My prayer was answered! God showed me my purpose why He sent me. I was sent to help that little girl feel comfortable in opening up about her faith. I was so grateful for my sisters, my mentors, and the student community. My personal relationship with God grew.”

The high from the mission trip carried Dania through the summer. But when her senior year started, she “fell.” She fell into a pit of loneliness, exhaustion, and isolation.

“My relationship with my mom was really bad,” Dania admitted, taking a deep breath. “We argued a lot. I was going through mental struggles without realizing it. I felt alone and under pressure to do everything at home. I was exhausted. I felt I was put on a pedestal for my family, and I pushed myself hard in school. I disconnected from friends. I was so lonely and unworthy as a child of God. So, I pushed Him away. An old friend reconnected with me, and I let her lead me into worldly things. The more time I spent with her, the farther I drifted from God. This made my mom angry. I would tell her one thing, but really, I was dealing with something else.”

After months of living what felt like a lie, something clicked one day in the school library. Dania described the moment:

“I remember thinking, ‘This isn’t me, and I know God is real.’ I knew those negative thoughts weren’t truth. I went to the school counselor and told her everything about home, friends, and what I was doing. I didn’t hold anything back. She suggested therapy. There was a therapist at school, so I started going. It was weird at first to have a set time to talk about my struggles and feelings. The therapist said I had functional depression and high anxiety. That first session, hearing the confirmation, made it all click. I knew I had a Savior, and He could heal me.”

Dania returned to youth group and stopped hanging out with old friends. She reached out to one of the student leaders, Sara, for help reading her Bible. She started in the Gospels and the book of John. Slowly, her heart began to come alive again, filled with love and truth.

“God genuinely saved me from depression,” Dania said with a huge grin. “I was back on the mountain and no longer afraid of the fall. Not long after, my old friend came to me and said, ‘I want that!’ but she didn’t feel worthy. I told her I had been there before. I told her God loves everyone. I told her, ‘I see you.’ We read the Bible together, and she came to youth group with me. She finally felt loved. We thanked each other. We all have a God-sized hole in our hearts. That summer before college, I discipled her. She went to college, joined a ministry, and now she leads others. We were at our lowest together, and now we’re standing on high ground together.”

When Dania started college, she got connected with Citylight’s Salt Company college ministry. Through it, God provided community and mentors who poured truth and love into her. Encouraged by her leaders, she applied to be a student leader and was accepted as a freshman. The next summer, she went overseas on mission.

“Coming back from that mission trip made me want to be a mentor,” Dania said. “Marissa was my high school leader, and now I want to be someone’s Marissa. If I can change one person’s story, that’s enough. Even with a hectic schedule, I want to be fully committed just like she was committed to me.”

Dania is also pursuing her dream of becoming a labor and delivery nurse. To gain experience, she became a certified nursing assistant. Dania explained how her faith carried into her work:

“I’ve had so many gospel conversations with my patients. Before Jesus, I used to be angry and hold grudges. Now I forgive so easily. Jesus softened my heart. My patience stretches further than ever. I had a Spanish-speaking patient who talked for 20 minutes straight. I just sat and listened. The old me could never have done that!”

After the mission trip, Dania was offered a volunteer position with the Student Ministry. Along with mentoring middle school girls, she drives one of the vans. One of the van that picked her up that fateful night years ago.

“Hopefully, my experiences and growth, and my focus on growing closer to God, will move people toward Christ,” Dania said with gratitude. “I want that for my sisters, too! I love them so much I wish I could glue them to my side and take them everywhere. God has given me patience and forgiveness. That’s His gift to me. I don’t want to hold grudges. I want to repair relationships. God gives me the strength to forgive.”