It has been said that abuse tears the soul of a person. Often the signs of abuse are internal. The wounds cannot be seen. Jodeen Bradfield didn’t recognize her own wounds from abuse. In her life, she didn’t remember most of the abuse, so she didn’t know she needed healing. It was through serving at a home for trafficked women where God said to her “You have to heal.” After years of counseling, Jodeen thought she was past the hurt, but God saw the wounds and offered her his healing in a new way.
“I didn’t know I needed additional healing,” Jodeen said with hope as she recounted that moment in her life 12 years ago. “He saw the wounds. He sees where people shove the pain deep down. When you have a wound and you don’t treat it, it gets infected and affects everything. The greater injury is internal. It tears the soul and people don’t know or understand how bad they are hurting. They push it down over years and years.”
When Jodeen volunteered at the home, she knew God was calling her to walk with other women who have faced abuse. By then, she thought she was a long way past her healing with 10 years of counseling under her belt, but God revealed to her she was doing it for others and not for herself. The leaders at the home asked if Jodeen would get trained in the curriculum and program, Mending the Soul. They wanted Jodeen to help facilitate groups.
“I thought I was already down the path of recovery,” Jodeen confessed. “When I went through the Mending the Soul curriculum with a small group of other women affected by the trauma of abuse, I realized how great my abuse was. You know it but I had something to compare it to. Every time I would go through Mending the Soul, and I read or heard personal stories from participants, it hit me with the badness of what I experienced. I was in counseling for all those years and still felt like I was less than. Abuse is an ugly subject that makes you feel ugly. No one wants to talk about it. You have nowhere to go except to shove it down. You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge. If you break your leg and you don’t go to a doctor it doesn’t heal properly. It's crooked and bent and affects your whole body. Abuse does that also.”
With the help of the curriculum, Jodeen also realized there was a crucial part of healing and something she never considered nor was offered. It was God. God was the center of the Mending the Soul program. God was in Jodeen’s story.
“I read people’s stories and books, and it validated me, but this program is about God’s intentions before and after abuse,” Jodeen said with care. “I understood for the first time that abuse is not his design. Bringing God into the equation was huge for my understanding and healing. I completed the training and soon afterwards, I was then contacted by a facilitator. She asked me to co-facilitate a Zoom group. That was ten years ago.”
Jodeen and Citylight’s Care Resident, Katie Gatewood, will be hosting a Mending the Soul group again this Spring at Citylight. This group will be Jodeen’s fifteenth group as a facilitator. The Mending the Soul program is supplemental and is not counseling and does not replace professional counseling. It is for those who have experienced abuse. Abuse is any physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional tearing down using a person for another person’s selfish need. It is using another person improperly to hurt or injure.
“Abusers want something to beat on, so they beat you physically, verbally or emotionally,” Jodeen described. “There is no regard for your needs, emotions, spirit ... etc. They use you for themselves. People who have been abused typically understand that the abuse is wrong, but they take on their abuser’s guilt and shame. They think they are less than. But God! Only God can heal that. Your self worth is linked and tied to God. You are made in his image. You are created with value. But you might not see it and therefore feel less than. When a participant goes through this program, it opens their eyes to God’s healing power.”
Mending the Soul has sections on discoveries, terms, and stages. It is a 14-week long curriculum written by a pastor and his counselor wife about 20 years ago. The author was counseling and meeting with women who had experienced abuse and there was nothing out there as a resource or guide. The most important part of the program is its purpose being rooted in God’s word. Scripture is on every page. Another vital part of the program is that it is facilitated in a small group setting.
“It is a personal journey with a small group of people,” Jodeen described. “It’s a personal journey for each woman. With shame you don’t speak up. A small group helps with validation. You hear other stories and hear similarities ... speaking up helps process externally. It validates your own feelings and others. It gives you a sense of worth and you realize you are not the only one. And since you know that, when you hear other stories, you validate them. And that is so positive. Sharing other’s experiences and bearing one another’s burdens is so healthy. That’s why the small group experience is so small. It doesn’t happen in a large group. It is a safe environment with others who can identify with your burden and with help.”
Participants who have completed the program can experience a healthier awareness of their self-worth and self-esteem. Also, a greater awareness and a validation of their experience and validation of their worth in Christ.
“Participants also know how to help themselves further in their healing journey,” Jodeen shared. “When you have seen and experienced healing, you want to continue. There are tools to use to help yourself and to heal and grow in your journey with God. God will tell you of your value. It is a spiritual journey as much as a healing journey. Spiritual in the sense that you begin to see and understand and accept your value in Christ. Christ wants you to be whole. He doesn’t want you to beat up on yourself, or think less of yourself, and this will help you. Forgiveness comes at the end.”
If your life has been touched by abuse, even if you think you don’t need it, register for the next Mending the Soul group. Jodeen said with certainty
“You will heal."
For more information on the next Mending the Soul group: https://citylightomaha.org/caregroups/
To read Jodeen’s story of abuse and recovery: https://a.co/d/7ZXEmLN