In fourth grade, Eh Ler heard about Jesus for the first time at a neighborhood ministry. Who was this Jesus? Why did He make her and in His image? She heard how He was crucified and was raised from the dead. She heard about a love that didn’t want to harm her. She was stunned. Oh, how she longed to be loved and not harmed.
“I learned about how we were made perfect in God’s image,” Eh Ler confessed. “How you shouldn’t hate yourself. You shouldn’t self-afflict. I didn’t like myself and I didn’t like anything. We were on the run from my dad since I was six. My mom was an alcoholic. I had to take care of her and my siblings. I hung out with people who were not good. I was bad and got into fights. I was angry.”
It was at this ministry where her knowledge of God continued to grow. It was called Saturday Play by the kids. She also heard about Tuesday homework help. She went to that too. One of the leaders at Saturday Play, Miss Katie, invited Eh Ler to church. She walked to church the next Sunday. She remembered crying during the sermon. One sermon was about guilt. She was asked if she felt guilt.
“I felt the guilt of harming myself,” Eh Ler described the Holy Spirit convicting her. “I felt guilty of sinning. I would push people away. I didn’t like to talk about feelings. But I felt safe with Miss Katie. I started to talk to her about my feelings. It’s good to talk about your feelings. It was the burden of not talking about it that was bad. I started to feel less and lighter.”
The more Eh Ler attended Saturday Play, the more she learned about Jesus. At the same time, the more difficulties she encountered. Her heart and soul were oppressed with her circumstances. The desire to find comfort in self-affliction and sin seemed easier.
“I wanted change, but I felt guilt and hurt,” Eh Ler described the battle she endured for the next year. “All the responsibility of my siblings and of me was on me. We then moved. I didn’t have Saturday Play and I couldn’t go talk to someone. I tried to commit s**cide that year. I felt so heavy and there was no way out. I coped with drugs and self-harm. I kept pushing God away. I was scared.”
But God didn’t push Eh Ler away. Out of His mercy and goodness, Eh Ler received a text out of the blue the next summer. It was from Miss Katie.
“She said she missed me and couldn’t get a hold of me,” Eh Ler shared. “I had a new phone number, and she had been trying to text me. She invited me to soccer camp and then to Wednesday nights at Citylight. Miss Katie told Jacob (Midtown’s Student Director) about me and got me connected. I also dusted off my Bible. God was showing me Himself and about who I am. I read Lamentations and Phillipians and the Psalms. Psalms 69 stuck to me. It was about weeping and being alone and I thought that’s me! I started to open up to others. It was hard to open up. I never could nor wanted to. I had to keep it all inside.”
Through God’s word and a community at Citylight, Eh Ler started to experience fun, joy and peace. She was less angry and more self-controlled. She had friends and indescribable relief. It was all undeniably from Jesus. Eh Ler accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior. She then wanted to get baptized.
“That was November 2024,” Eh Ler said. “I told Miss Katie I wanted to get baptized so we signed up for the baptism class. I wanted to change my life and proclaim it through baptism. It was a great day. It was also hard. There was spiritual warfare.”
The old habits, old friends and craving to numb the fear and anger didn’t immediately wash away. Eh Ler felt like she was back down in the pit. The pit where sadness and depression loomed. But this time, she had The Almighty as well as a community of friends and mentors.
“I knew I needed additional help, so I started an antidepressant,” Eh Ler said. “I also heard a sermon where I felt conviction again. I heard to stop everything and not let the bad take over me again. I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. God freed my mind. God freed me. I still felt depression and anxiety but this time I chose God. He is better. Every time I got sad, I pushed the phone away and put on worship songs. I called my friends. God gave me new friends. Danae is one of them who helped change my life. I used to push people away. I don’t feel like pushing her away. She makes me better. She makes me focus on God’s word. He has given me hope and joy. I feel more happy and less angry. Sometimes when I feel alone and I feel like no one is here with me. I call out that lie. I remember I am not alone!”
Last fall, God also provided additional protection and help to Eh Ler. A family at Citylight invited Eh Ler to live with them. Eh Ler was given a safe place with a loving community that holds her accountable and offers encouragement.
“I go downstairs, and I have conversations with them,” Eh Ler explained. “When I am sad, they seek me out.”
Jesus changed Eh Ler’s life. Even though the darkness and lies still knock on the door of her heart, she will never be owned by them. The temptation to go back will always be there, but Eh Ler made THE best choice as her final. It is God and God alone. She concluded with encouragement to others who have not made THE choice.
“Jesus saved me from trials and tribulations. He can save you too. Learn more about Christ. Go to church and join a community. Read Lamentations. God knows what it feels like to be alone and to go through sorrow. You are not alone. Don’t be afraid. Talk to someone or talk to me. I want you to know that there is a safe place for you.”
Eh Ler now, for the first time in her life, thinks of the future. She wants to be a surgeon. She wants to travel to places and tell them about God. She wants to be a disciple maker and missionary. She wants to show God’s love to others and tell them that it is unconditional. She knows she doesn’t have to be nervous sharing about God's word. She knows that God offers love and protection.
Eh Ler is also going to the nations this summer. She and a team of students are serving alongside a local ministry team in Louisiana for a week. They leave at the end of May. Church, please pray for these students and leaders. Pray for our sister in Christ, Eh Ler as she continues to seek the Lord and battles the strongholds in her life with Jesus leading.
You are loved! Thankful for lots of memories ❤️🙏