“Where’s Daddy?”
It was a question Sarah and Ryan Frost heard often from their young son, Lane. Every eight weeks, Sarah’s railroad management schedule shifted from days to nights and back again. Ryan worked during the day and coached hockey in the evenings. Between their schedules, weekends were chaotic, and church and community had to be put on hold. Lane’s simple question forced them to stop and recognize what their family was missing.
“I told Ryan we needed to show Lane church,” Sarah confessed. “We needed to be in church. We were not connected. We had stopped coming to church. Lane noticed our absences especially with Ryan. I knew I couldn’t continue my work schedule. Ryan and I were trying to just keep going.”
Without hesitation, Ryan quit coaching. The following Sunday, they visited a church closer to home. Although they heard Scripture, they were still longing for the community they knew they needed. Sarah remembered Citylight, where they had attended before their schedules and the distance made it difficult to stay connected. The next Sunday, she woke up with a decision: “We are going back to Citylight.”
Since their first Sunday back at Citylight, the Frosts have grown in their faith and in community. One valuable community God gave them was through the kid’s ministry.
“I started serving in the 1-2 grade class,” Sarah shared. “Some of the kids have strong backgrounds in church, some do not. I grew up in a divorced family where my dad wasn’t always present. My mom didn’t take us to church, so I can relate to some of the kids who come on Sunday mornings without a strong foundation. It is humbling to see what God has done in my life and the lives of the kids.”
Serving in kid's ministry has challenged Sarah and Ryan to grow in their own faith. As they prepare lessons and answer children's questions, they find themselves learning alongside them. Ryan said,
“They ask really good and hard questions. If I don’t know it, we look it up together. But then sometimes, you hear another kid explain it. It’s a humbling moment. I know the stories, but you are learning from the kids.”
Also for Ryan, having godly men in his life has helped him. It has strengthened his faith and helped bring it back to the center of his life.
“Our City Group is our friend group - guys like Joby Martin explains as ‘mat carriers’. "I tell people, ‘Find your mat carriers.’ When you're down, these guys lift you up. It reminds me of the story of the friends who lowered a paralyzed man on a mat through the roof to get him to Jesus. Those are the kinds of friends you need. Friends that get you to Jesus. If I'm struggling, I know I can count on them. They’re the guys who, when I call them at 2 a.m. - or they call me - don’t answer with, ‘What do you want?’ or ‘What do you need?’ Instead, it’s, ‘What’s going on? Where do I need to meet you?’”
Having lived a portion of life with small faith and no community, Ryan offered encouragement to the person in the same spot in life.
“If you are questioning about getting involved, going to church, serving in Kids, people... don’t,” Ryan exclaimed. “God is calling you. Jump in. You will find some of your best friends. Don’t hesitate. Don’t be afraid to be open. It can be hard for men to be vulnerable. That’s the whole point of men’s studies and City Groups. You talk about life and share the weight of struggles with other men. You will feel 100 percent better. The other men have been through it too. You will experience peace. Sarah and I are doing the book of Romans together. The conversations we have challenge one another. We are learning together. It has brought us closer together.”
For Sarah, life with God has changed everything. She described it as this:
“My desires have changed. I want to be in God’s word. When we first joined our City Group, I was invited into a women’s huddle. Together we walked through Exodus that summer. I can’t describe all this better than LIFE GIVING. I have changed as a wife and a mom and a coworker and as a friend. I feel like the more I invited Christ into my life and into our family’s life, our home is peaceful and I feel gentler. I am more patient with Ryan. I used to be quick tongued. Now I might think it, but now, I am less in saying it.”
Surrounded by God’s word, His promises and His people, there is another advantage to all that has been done and given to Sarah and Ryan. It’s a front row seat for Lane. Lane gets to now learn about Jesus, hear about Jesus, and see Jesus in action in and through his parents and the Church body.
“I hope he sees how much we love God,” Sarah concluded. “Our hope is that he loves God. We talk to him all the time about God. Ryan does bedtime every night with Lane and reads him the Bible. He prays with Lane. We’ll ask him, “Who loves you more than mommy and daddy?” He’ll shout back “God!” The other day I asked him, “What did you dream last night?” And he quickly said Jesus! I know some of that is from the kid’s ministry on Sundays. The stories click into practice. God is so good.”
Three years ago, Sarah and Ryan were trying to keep up with life, but they knew something needed to change. Today, their faith is growing, their marriage is stronger, and they have a community of people they can lean on. And perhaps one of the greatest gifts is knowing that Lane is growing up seeing what it looks like to follow Jesus, not just through what his parents tell him, but through the way they live. Looking back, Sarah and Ryan can see how God used a difficult season to draw them closer to Him and to one another. It's a season they wouldn't choose to repeat, but they can see the good God has brought from it.